Why it’s Okay to Not Feel Festive


Everyone is decking their halls and putting up their Christmas trees, and I feel a bit like Scrooge sat in the corner. I am excited for Christmas, and I want to be in the festive spirit but I realise the more I force it, the more it ain’t going to happen. If you’re feeling a little bit like me, I thought I’d reassure you that what you feel is a-okay and here’s why.

Your feelings are completely valid 
I feel like a bit of an outsider for not fully immersing myself in the festive spirit and of the people I’ve told, I think one person has shown the slightest bit understanding. How you feel is how you feel, no amount of begrudging looks by people who can’t see things from others perspectives can change that. Last time I checked, you’re allowed to feel like you aren’t in the festive spirit, it’s not a crime.

It’s 24 hours
Christmas day is literally just that. A day. 24 hours. Then it’s gone. There’s so much pressure for one day of the year and it feels a bit overwhelming sometimes. If you’re really not looking forward then try to remember it’ll come as quick as it goes. We can all grin and bear the forced happiness for one day of the year and you never know, you might even enjoy it.

Expectations lead to disappointment
It’s a classic saying that always lead to be true. Whenever I expect amazing things, they rarely happen because my imagination runs far too wild. I much prefer to be mildly excited and expect nothing in order to be pleasantly surprised. It’s my mantra to life, and I’ve found myself enjoying far more things through this, rather than being greeted with a let down feeling.

Personal circumstances will always prevail
Last year was the worst Christmas ever. My nan passed away 3 months before and honestly I didn’t quite know how Christmas could be Christmas without her. If anyone could put me in the festive spirit it was her and maybe that’s why I’m not really feeling it right now. As a family we’re still trying to find a new ‘normal’ and while our Sundays are definitely getting there (she used to visit every single week) our Christmas days are far less frequent. What I’m trying to get at is that our personal lives don’t cease to exist just because Christmas is on it’s way. I always feel it does the opposite at this time of year and everything feels like it’s going 1000mph. For me, my grief is still here, and for you, well only you know what you’re working through.

Know why you don’t feel festive and accept it
Instead of trying to battle with the beast that is the unknown, work out exactly why you feel the way you do. It’s much easier to accept why you feel something than be left in the dark. For me it’s the fact my nan is no longer here and well you can only answer the question for yourself. I always find with acceptance it almost frees your soul a little bit (if you believe in that, but either way you do feel a little freer).

Are you feeling festive this year? If you are please throw some suggestions my way to help a gal out.

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