Sometimes I feel like I need to just write to get out exactly what I’m thinking and feeling, and this is one of those times. Uni is really getting on top of me, and something has to give.
Naturally the thing that has to give is this, my blog. I’m still going to be posting and taking pictures that I think are pretty, but I’m going to take more of a backseat. I’ve let my blog become the reason as to why I’m procrastinating writing an assignment, and it’s not a work ethic I want to adopt. I want my sole focus to be my studies, and to keep this as a hobby.
Lately, I’ve been doing the opposite. Posting every other day is hard, and I’ve started to think I’ve chosen quantity over quality, and I don’t even think I’d stop and read my posts if I wasn’t the author behind them. My blog isn’t my job, and I don’t need to obsess over it every second of every day, it’s just not healthy. I want to love the content I create, and be excited about it. I’m going to start posting as and when I feel like it. I like the spontaneity of how it sounds.
Things have been a bit slow over here, haven’t they? I know they say to not get hung up on the numbers but it really feels like for every person that follows me, I lose another two. While it doesn’t bother me per se, it makes me feel like my content isn’t up to scratch anymore.
If you think this is out of the blue, trust me it isn’t. I feel a huge amount of pressure to portray the classic ‘aesthetic blogger’ lifestyle and it’s just not true to me. Why do you think my Instagram is pretty ‘crappy’ looking? The only thing blogger-esque about my room is the white desk in there, but that attracts dust and dirt like a magnet. I don’t even have white walls (I know, the horror). Comparison is the thief of joy, and right now I’m feeling a bit down about it all. I don’t have white floorboards, I don’t buy flowers weekly, and I don’t own my own home. I’m just me, nothing more and nothing less.
I need to find my feet again. I want to do more lifestyle posts because they’re a bloody joy to write and little nineteen year old me is probably ninety in spirit and I think has pearls of wisdom to offer. My passion needs to be reignited. So for the next couple of months, bear with me while I let myself blossom into something.
If you’ve read this far, then thank you. I’m going to try and post more on Instagram and see where that takes me with my creativity. I just need to feel like I own my blog, and not like my blog owns me. I want my posts to have pictures I’m proud of and articulate writing. Here’s to a bit of creativity!